I was trying to come up with a way to give others a visual picture of Edlines disabililty. (She is 7). So, just this morning, as I was getting her ready for summer school, (she has four hours with a fantastic cognative teacher), we had one of our frustrating conversations. I did not show my frustration, I only displayed calmness and patience, THANKING GOD for that!
I asked Edline what she would like for breakfast, and this is how the conversation went. "Can I have those things?"(as she was motioning something small with her hands).
"Edline, what is a thing?"
She already was starting to get frustrated that I couldn't read her mind. So I had to stop the mopey's in it's track, and get her to try to explain.
"If you don't know what you are trying to tell me, try to tell me what it looks like, where it is, what it tastes like." Me, smiling, talking in a gentle voice.
"I want toast." Edline
Edline, looking at me as if I'm going to give her spinach. "Can I just show you where there at?"
"No Edline, you need to try to use your words." me
She is getting really frustrated with me, but knows I will not back down or let her walk away without finishing what we started, (this is from experience)!
Edline, "those bread sticks."
"Edline, we don't have bread sticks."
"There in the freezo. They go in there," (pointing to the microwave).
Now, at this point, I know that she has had enough of trying to verbalize her intention, so to avoid a melt down, or more mopies, I guide her to the anwer.
"Edline, do you mean french toast sticks?" me
She nods her head, but I make her say it so she hears herself say it.
I praise her for sticking with it and trying to explain it all out. We hug, I make her french toast sticks, and we move on!
Okay, so, we have had french toast sticks in our house for years. This is not something new. But for Edline to verbalize such things, is very difficult. I don't always have the patience, but I never let her get away without trying to work it out in her brain, to make those connections. In her world, no matter how many hundreds of times she has heard something, a lot of the times, the connection can't be made to verbalize it. Sometimes the connection is even lost, where something she has seen, heard, etc., over a few dozen times, ends up being completly new. A window can be a door, or vice versa. A driveway can be a sidewalk, or vice versa. This is just one of our daily situations. Parenting her is very different than parenting our other kids. I have confidence that the older she gets, the easier it will be for her to talk herself through to get to the answers. Thank God that she is so forgiving of me, because there are times when my patience is not there. When I look at her, I see such a beautiful daughter, who does try sooooo hard. I don't know what her future holds, but I do know that she will reach her greatest potential with us and the unending help of Our Heavenly Father!
On a different note...last night we had a late night, due to Anthony's baseball game. Alex went to sleep on our floor (again), Love had a snotty/bossy attitude lastnight, so ended up going to bed earlier. I finally got to the Sunday paper at 10:00 last night. Andrew also was playing his guitar for Scott and I last night. He is so gifted musically. That comes from my husband! Andrew can listen to a song, and play it out on his guitar, or write a whole percussion to it. He is currently working on getting songs for the drumline for Fall. He played me three of them yesterday. It just blows me away how he can do that!
We are still looking for land. We are praying over a 21 acre piece, wondering what to do about it. Not sure if we should wait, keep looking, or buy.
On the adoption front, just doing the waiting game. We are waiting on the I600a approval, so then we can do some more waiting on a referral. That alone can take months. We are in no hurry. Since this is the second time around going through the process, the urgency is just not there. I know that God has perfect timing!
God Bless your day!