Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Random thoughts...

I am doing a great woman's bible study right now. It's , "He speaks to me." It's about listening and obeying when God speaks to you. So many times He has said to me, "Be still." I am learning.
This season of my life seems to be a busy one. We are in the adoption process, we are looking for land or hobby farm, we are expecting three crias (baby alpacas), I will start homeschooling my 6th grader in the next few weeks, continuing to be challenged through parenting my daughter with cognative disabilities, and having my oldest son being a senior this year and starting to see less and less of him!! Some days are hard, but each day I know His blessings continue flowing on us, no matter what we are in the midst of.
Waiting on Josiah Blessings adoption process, has been a little easeir than the first time we went through this with our girls. The girls' room was completely ready for them, 7 months before they got home. I haven't even started tackling organizing Blessings things yet. I guess since he's a baby, it's a little different.

Since school has started, Love, our 4 y.o., is the only one home with mommy right now. So her strong willed personality, is getting a little adjustment from me! She's doing a lot better! She will proably always be a loud, outspoken little girl! Maybe a wrestler too! She gets down with her 12 y.o. brother and gets pretty agressive!!
My 7 y.o. daughter has been regressing a bit with her language. Sometimes her sentences are more like a 2 y.o. Some examples..."Mom, I held Love in." Translation..."mom, I carried Love in the house." Another one..."Mom, what number was I?" Translation..."Mom, how old was I?" Here's one that I had no idea what she was talking about..."what went in and in yesterday?" She also loves to use the word "thing" for words she gets too lazy to think about. We are trying to eliminate THAT word!
Even though she is 7.5 years, her articulation seems to be taking a back seat also. It's really hard for her when there is so much going on in her world, that she forgets to articulate so others can understand her. She is also one that getting her attention, or her to stop moving body parts to listen is getting harder. As she is growing, her disability is becoming more of an issue. Just yesterday I was playing tic tac toe with her. Four times she made the exact same moves, and I made the same exact same moves to win each time. Okay, I wasn't being the mean mom that should let her child win, I was trying to get her to "think" about the next move to try to stop me. She has not gotten to the point where she can think like that yet. Believe me, we are really trying to stimulate her brain in so many ways to get her to work those brain cells. Sometimes we see a little hope. Most times, we don't. She is doing great in school. She has a great LD teacher, speech, OT and a few other specialist that fit in her day. We have no idea what her future holds, we don't see her able to function alone as an adult. A group home seems to be more of a fit. And if you think that she is aware of her 4 y.o. sister knowing more than her, she's not. At least not yet, that may change. I'm hoping it doesnt because it will only make her more aware of her differences. She has come to understand that mom and dad have "special" rules just for her. She's okay with that. She has had too many accidents and knows that pain comes from not listening to us for her safety! (helmet for everything, no running on driveway, no bare feet outside, no necklaces on exept for church, etc. It's a long list)!
I wanted to give you a glimse of our daily life with a "special" child. It may seem like a lot. And, it was in the beginning when we were trying to adjust to parenting her, but now it's just part of our routine. It doesn't feel like it's any more work than the other kids. It's taken over three years to get the flow, but I think we are settled into it now. I truly love her to death, as much as I love my other kids. We love our kids differently, that's it!

I feel like I should be preparing myself for another little one that may be here by the end of the year. But I have so much peace about this adoption, I'm not worrying about it! He will fit, he will bring joy and laughter to our family. God has given me such peace, He wants me to believe in a miracle that He has for us. His timing is perfect! I can't wait to hold our little one!


Dana said...

God bless you and your children. I am new here, but just wanted to say hi.

Thank you for sharing....when we have concerns for our children, that can be the hardest.

amber said...

I always appreciate your posts. Thanks for sharing honestly about the difficult aspects of parenting special needs and the blessings. I am always inspired by your vulnerability... and encouraged.

It is a good word... "to be still..." It's one that I have been trying to learn for years! Sometimes I find that rhythm... the rhythm of working and teaching and learning and yet being still in the midst of it all... quiet in my heart before the Lord. Most of the time I'm too hurried to stay in that quiet place once I leave my "prayer closet".
It's good to be reminded!